i just google imaged poop.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
