I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize