she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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