She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
