i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
