it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize