You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
