we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
