Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
