I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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