Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
