i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
