You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
