i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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