On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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