Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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