Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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