Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Are my feet made of real feet?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Randomize
