nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
