she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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