I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
