I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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