is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize