It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
