Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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