Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
