Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
