i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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