oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
This is my gift to your gina
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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