these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
