She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
