Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Of course I have a pirate flag
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
