what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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