this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
