i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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