Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
