he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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