Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am puke
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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