It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
