Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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