I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
