Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
