i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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