you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
