Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
