It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
