Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
