She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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