As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize