Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
