HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize