He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Less talking, more tequila
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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