WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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