Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
