they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He better not be in your backpack
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
