16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
