I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
