She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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