I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize