I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
