Screwed.edu
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
