There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
