i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
