I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize