I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
