You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
