I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
We smell like vodka and hangover
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