some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
