I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
