You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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