it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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