Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
